Manipulation doesn’t always start with screaming.

Sometimes, it starts with charm.
He remembers your favorite coffee.
He asks if you made it home safe.
He listens, at first.
But then, the tone shifts.

I still have the emails. One of them said:
“You act like you want something, then say you don’t need anyone. Make up your mind.”

That wasn’t affection.
That was pressure.
Control, disguised as closeness.

Another time, I tried to express frustration—to ask for emotional honesty.
Suddenly, I was the problem.
Not hurt. Just angry.
And angry, in his world, meant unstable. Dangerous even.

As if his behavior wasn’t his fault, just a reaction to my supposed dysfunction.

That lie stayed with me.
For years, I wondered if I was the one who couldn’t do relationships.
If love meant shrinking, apologizing first, questioning myself just to keep someone else comfortable.

But that’s not love.
That’s control.

This Is the Truth Behind the Fiction

When I wrote The Lies We Whisper, I didn’t set out to write a story about abuse. I set out to write a story about trauma, memory, and the longing to feel safe in your own skin.

But as Hanna’s story unfolded especially in some of her relationship's I saw the familiar signs. The gaslighting and the possessiveness masked as love. The slow erosion of identity. The way even her anger was held against her.

Hanna is not me. But like me, she was manipulated into silence, doubt, and guilt.

Why I’m Telling You This Now
Because someone reading this needs to hear:

You’re not too sensitive.
You’re not dramatic.
You didn’t overreact.

You were made to feel like your boundaries were a flaw.
That’s not your fault. That’s emotional abuse.

And even if he never laid a hand on you, it counts.
You count!

The Lies We Whisper is fiction rooted in real emotional truths. If you’ve ever been made to question your memory, your anger, or your worth, this story might resonate more deeply than you expect.

You’re not broken.
You’re waking up.
And there is life, true life beyond the lies.

If You Need Help, You're Not Alone

If any part of this post feels familiar, please know there are people who will believe you and want to help. Emotional abuse is real. You deserve support, safety, and healing.

📞 U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call: 1-800-799-7233
Text: START to 88788
www.thehotline.org
Available 24/7. Free. Confidential.

📞 StrongHearts Native Helpline (for Native communities)
Call or Text: 1-844-762-8483
www.strongheartshelpline.org

📞 RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
Call: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
www.rainn.org
Support for survivors of sexual violence.

🌍 Outside the U.S.?
Visit www.womenagainstabuse.org/help-abroad for international hotlines and resources in your country.